It’s hard to say whether I can accept what I’ve been through or not. The majority of the time I feel like I can but sometimes I ask myself;
Did I actually go through all that?
The question I find myself asking many times. Did I actually go through that period in my life where I basically lived in hospital? Did I actually have major surgery? Was I actually that weak and poorly?
The answer to all that is yes. I did/was. It sometimes all feels like a distant memory, or even a bad dream though.
Saying that, my situation now where I have scars, my stomach is distorted and I have a tube, seems pretty normal to me.
I can kind of understand how someone else could look at my situation and think that it must be hard and scary. I mean, being connected up to a machine that pumps feed into you can seem quite daunting. I remember when I got told I will have to have a tube into my stomach – I was petrified!! Yes, I still had a slightly odd looking stomach with scars from baby surgery and no belly button but I was used to that. I was born with it after all😂. But the thought of having a tube just sitting in/on my stomach. Visable for me to see. And a machine that would pump stuff into me… I doubted whether I’d be able to get used to it.
Some people may not consider me, or my situation, to be “normal”. And that’s okay.
Why?
Because I know I am normal in my own way. I have grown used to having a tube in my stomach. I have grown used to having a slightly odd stomach. I have grown used to being fed by a machine overnight.
I am also used to the fact that my appetite is not great.
But I suppose the question I should be asking is….
What is normal?
(Btw this is my 50th post! Wow!)
😁😊
Katie's Journey 