Should I or shouldn’t I? That is the question.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m in a good place at the moment. Despite having a few more pains and discomfort than usual (which I have arranged an appointment with my consultant soon for), I am happy. I’m doing well at work. I’ve pretty much finished my Business Admin course. I’m going out and having fun with my friends and boyfriend. Life is probably better than it ever has been right now.

But I’ve been thinking recently. Well… wondering. Would now be the right time to have a little play around with my medicines/tube feed. Maybe reduce the tablets I take and/or try having more nights off my tube feed.

I’m in a stronger, healthier state now. What if I was to, say, stop using my pump for 4/5 days or even a whole week… What would happen? Will it make me eat more? Probably. But will it make me get ill? Maybe. Is it a risk I’m willing to take? I don’t know.

I will probably talk to my consultant before I do anything but I feel like maybe I should give having a whole week or something off my tube feed a go? Normally I have 1, 2 nights off maximum. I’ve tried a week off before, but it was a few years ago. It didn’t end well. My weight dropped dramatically and I got sick.

I’m at a better weight now. And like I’ve said, I’m much healthier. So maybe a week off the pump wouldn’t do me as much harm?

The important factors I’ve got to take into consideration are weight loss and dehrdration. These two factors could be triggered very quickly from me not eating or drinking enough to keep me going throughout the day. However by not having the feed overnight, maybe I will start feeling like I need to eat and drink more throughout the day, helping me to get the right balance and avoid dehydrating and/or loosing weight.

With the medication side of things, I don’t take a lot of tablets but I still think it would be nice to wean myself off them. But that, again, is something I will talk to my consultant about before doing anything.

I feel like I’m ready to start taking risks with my feed and medication now. But I’ve got to do it carefully and with consideration. It could go one way or another. I guess I won’t know unless I try, will I?

I’m both excited and anxious about doing this. But also I’m still not sure whether to just go ahead and do it.

I know I know my own body and its all my decision, but what do you, my viewers, think?

Should I give it a go?