How I coped with: Having a Picc Line

I haven’t got a Picc Line now, but I did have one for quite a while a few years ago. I thought I’d do a chapter on my experiences of having one. How I coped with it. The care that was needed. That sort of thing.

Let me start off by explaining what a Picc Line is, in my own words.

A Picc Line is a small, long tube that is inserted into normally your arm. The tube inserts into your arm, particularly into a large vein that carries blood into the heart. The tube runs up the arm, and towards your heart. It is designed for long-term IV use (so if a patient needed regular IV antibiotics, or needed blood taken regularly)

I had it for those things, but also for nutrition. When I was really poorly and was an inpatient in both Kings and my local hospital, I was connected up to a machine that pumped this particular liquid into me that had all the nutrients I needed in it. This was called TPN (Total Parental Nutrition). The reason I was having this was because I had a lot of trouble physically eating and was barely keeping anything down. They needed to get nutrients into me and this was the only way. It meant long stays in hospital and frequent visits to the hospital when I was allowed home.

When I was allowed home, I still had the Picc Line inserted as doctors knew I’d need it again at some point. Luckily a Picc Line is designed for long term use and can stay inserted for as long as it needs to be in. Some people have a Picc Line for life.

I was a bit nervous about being at home, and leading a normalish life with the Picc Line. What if I knock it? What if something goes wrong and I lose blood or something? It was scary but I eventually got used to it. It also helped knowing that I had a community nurse who was on the end of the phone whenever I needed her. She also came round once a week to flush the line to make sure it was clean and wasn’t blocked.

It wasn’t pretty looking and so I had a bandage around it most of the time. That was also for protection. Luckily, it was in an area that I could easily cover it up too. I could just wear long-sleeved clothing to hide it.

It was also itchy from time to time. This is because the dressing that was put on it stuck firmly to my skin to keep it in place. This made my skin underneath extremely dry and uncomfortable. This was probably the worst part of having a Picc Line thinking about it. Although… There was a slight benefit to this. Every week, when my nurse came round to flush the line, she’d also change the dressing. When she’d take the old dressing off, she’d get this little cleaning device. It was basically like a small, wet sponge. She gently massaged my dry skin to clean it before applying a new dressing. Omg it felt so good!! I didn’t want her to stop😂. I kind of miss that feeling😂

After she’d finish cleaning, she’d apply a new dressing and a new bandage. And that was that.

I never really had any trouble with the Picc Line. It was pretty useful at the time. It meant that anytime I had to go to hospital, I didn’t have to have a cannula inserted to be put on a drip or have medicine injected into me – they just used the Picc Line!

However there was one occasion where it failed when the nurse came to my house to flush it. It was also starting to make its way out for some reason. The nurse tried pushing it in a little and also went to do her thing, got a syringe and began pushing to flush, but the syringe would be stiff and wouldn’t push the water through. She tried multiple times and checked the tube that was showing. Nothing was working.

She came to the conclusion that it probably had to be taken out. But she couldn’t do so without the permission from my consultant. She tried contacting him but had no success. We waited a little while but eventually she said “I’m going to have to take it out”. So she began gently pulling it out of my arm. My parents looked a bit worried and were probably thinking I was scared too. But I breaked the tension by causing a little bit of laughter. It was all quiet as my nurse was gently pulling it out. I looked down and thought it looked like a ‘magic trick’ that a clown does. You know, the one where he pulls multiple tissues/napkins out of his sleeve and it seems never ending. That one. So she was pulling the tube in my arm and I started going “duh duh duddah duddah duh duh duh” (the clown theme if you know it😂). Everyone laughed. It really helped what was a stressful situation for all of us in the room.

Here are some awkward photos of me with my Picc Line in🙈😂

How I cope with nausea

I thought I’d start doing blog posts on ways I cope with certain aspects of my life in hope that it could be helpful to someone who may be going through similar. My first topic – sickness/nausea.

First of all, the feeling of sickness is different for everyone. The levels of it varies, and it can obviously be caused by a number of different things.

I suffer from nausea daily. I have done on and off for as long as I can remember, although it’s become more regular since my procedures at Kings. It’s actually a daily thing now. The level of nausea I get varies though. Nowadays the levels are quite mild – meaning that it’s easy to cope with. Although there are times where my nausea can get quite bad and horrible. These moments normally happen first thing in the morning or after I’ve eaten a certain amount of food. It’s not pleasent and to be honest, I find myself thinking that I’d rather have sharp pains in my stomach rather than the nausea I receive. That’s the thing I’ve found in recent years. I’d much rather have pain than sickness.

As I’ve mentioned, I suffer from nausea daily however fortunately because it’s quite mild, I have learnt to ignore it and carry on with my normal day to day activities.

It took me a while to get to that stage though. I had to teach myself how to cope. Especially without the use of medication (this is kind of where the cyclozine mentioned in my previous post, links in).

One thing that I found really helped me – with any discomfort really – is music. Listening to music really helps me. I do have a tendency to listen to my music quite loud with headphones on. I don’t have it too loud, but enough to help me blank out everything around me and the physical feelings that are occurring.

I think not only does music distract me, the vibrations of the sounds and beats of the songs really help me. I find that moving.. Or vibrations in some way or form really help me. I don’t know why if I’m honest, but it really does help.

Another way of controlling my nausea can be done by breathing techniques. I used to suffer really bad with anxiety and so during my therapy sessions I was taught how to breathe when I was feeling extremely anxious and/or having a panic attack. I found this helped with my sickness and discomfort too. Breathing in and out slowly and calmly is a great way for me to feel more at ease. Physically and mentally.

Them two techniques are the main things I use. Other ways include, having someone distract me by talking to me about something different, making me laugh or just putting something on the TV that I enjoy watching. I’ve also found recently that a back rub also helps!

Like I said earlier, everyone’s different. And different techniques work for different people. It’s about finding the best way for you.

Also none of my techniques unfortunately work 100% all the time and definately don’t have a long-term effect. But if I can find ways to keep myself in a stable, comfortable place for as long as possible – then I bloody well will do so!

Addiction: Then and Now.

Being addicted to something can be quite scary sometimes.

I’m going to hold my hands up and admit I was once addicted to a certain drug that they gave me in hospital a few years bag.

It was a strong anti-sickness drug that I sometimes had injected into me following surgery and/or treatment. The name of the drug was cyclozine (I think that’s how you spell it😂).

When they first gave it to me – it had an amazing affect. I used to suffer with sickness quite badly. I still suffer from it time to time now but it’s no where near as bad as it was. When they gave me cyclozine I felt a buzz. It definately stopped the sickness but it also had a slight side effect that made me feel a tad…. drunk😬😂

My eyes would widen, my heart would race and I would feel extremely happy. I felt great as soon as the drug hit me… Which was within a matter of seconds of it being injected into me.

It was such a relief.

The more surgery, treatment and admissions into hospital I had, the more I would have cyclzine. I became used to having it… Heck after a while of having it on and off quite regularly because I was so poorly, I craved it.

It got to a point where I felt like I needed it despite me not feeling any sickness whatsoever. I just wanted the buzz. It was scary. The thing is I had no control over my feelings towards this drug. I demanded it sometimes. I got angry and upset if I couldn’t have it.

Eventually something clicked, and I realised that I was now actually taking it just for the buzz. For the feeling of being drunk and quite possibly.. High.

I tried to tell others. My family and nurses. But felt embarrassed so I didn’t explain my issue properly. And everytime I felt sick or “felt sick” they would offer it to me and I couldnt turn it down.

I know that’s sounds wrong but I honestly did not know what to say or do. My body was hurting and craving this drug. I felt relief once I got the buzz from it. It was both horrible and relieving at the same time. It was odd.

However one day I just thought the only person who can put a stop to this is me. So I demanded the nurses and ym family to not listen to me when I demanded the drug. I asked them not to give it to me under any circumstances. Don’t give it to me in theatre (because of the addiction and becuase they gave it to me once in theatre and I woke up whilst on the operating table😳). Don’t give it to me when I’m asleep. Just basically don’t give it to me full stop.

I said ill deal with the sickness by myself. I’ll persevere and get through it on my own without medication.

And guess what.

I did it! I avoided having the drug and felt much better for it (it was hard at first but I pushed through).

Nowadays I can’t stand the thought of the drug. It makes me cringe so much. Just typing this blog makes me shiver.

I’m doing well with the support of the medication I’m on (all oral).

However recently I’ve discovered a new addiction I have. It’s not a medication this time though. It’s probably not so much of a risky/bad addiction as cyclozine though.

Percy Pigs.

Yes. I am addicted to Percy Pigs. Now this is an addiction that I probably shouldn’t be too worried about🤔😉😂 **

**may I just add that I am not living off Percy Pigs. I do have a varied diet… I just find these sweets incredibly good😍😂