I feel like I’ve got a dark cloud over my head, which has been getting bigger and bigger over the last few weeks.

I’m not sure if it’s because of recent events (issues with my physical health and stress from trying to find a new job to go to in January etc) but recently I’ve been feeling more low than usual.

As I think I’ve mentioned before, I am on anti depressants and was put on them at the beginning of this year. They seemed to have a big effect and has allowed me to toddle on through life with very little low moments.

That nice affect has seemed to ware off a little bit recently. Again, it may just be genuine stress with everything that’s going on (it’s also nearly Xmas so the stress of buying presents too😂)

I’ve found myself trying to hold on to people and things that make me happy for as long as I can. For example, games I enjoy playing – I will try and stay focused on playing that game until I really need to come off it. Also my boyfriend. He makes me happy. When I’m around him I do feel happy and when it’s time to part, as much as I appricate we both need our own space from time to time, I’m sad that our time together is over. (even though we message all the time and normally arrange to meet up a couple of days later)

I’ve had a low spell similar to this before, and so I know I will get through it. In the mean time though, I will stay put and carry on trying to keep my head up – no matter how hard that’s becoming. I will also remember that it’s okay not to be okay. I can cry if I want to. I can feel sad if I have to. Its important to look after yourself mentally and physically.

But I will get to the rainbow again. I will feel happy again.