It’s been a year??! 😱

A year ago today I made the decision to start a blog about my journey. Covering the highs and lows of it all and spreading awareness of Exomphalos, Dextrocardia, Depression, Anxiety and many other aspects of my life.

I can’t believe it’s been a year already!

Thank you to all my followers. Those who follow on here, word press, or on social media (you know who you are😉)

Thank you for all your interactions and support – it means alot!

I do try and upload when I can but sometimes there can be quite the delay in posting so I apologise for that.

Please do continue liking, following and sharing though! I’ve got some new, great content planned for this blog so stay tuned😊

I want to try and get my story across to as many people as possible! Hopefully I can help and assure others who are going through similar whether physically or mentally.

So please, if you read this, like and share this post!

Thank you again! And Happy 1 year to Katie’s Journey! 🥳😁

Katie x

Against Doctors Orders

I’ve talked in the past about realising my limits and listening to my body.. etc.

But there are some things in my life which I am technically entitled to, yet I refuse to… acknowledge I guess.

When I say a few things.. I mainly mean.. Well.. One 😂

I found out I was entitled to this a few months back.

Basically a few months ago I went to the doctors for an appointment. He was a nice doctor and we chatted about the issue I originally made the appointment for. After a little while of talking, and I can’t remember how we got onto this, but he mentioned that I am actually entitled to a sick note that said that I was ‘unfit for work’. Due to the complication of my condition and the number of surgeries and treatment that I have had, I do have the right to not work and probably just live off benefits.

As soon as he mentioned the ‘unfit for work’ note I instantly said no. Why? Because why the fudge would I do that when my main goal is to be as “normal” as possible.

I explained that, yes I have a few limitations (mainly just heavy lifting), but I do want to work. I want to earn my own money. I like the idea of having money come into my account knowing that I’ve worked hard for it. I also don’t want to sit around on my butt all day doing nothing. I want to get out there, meet new people, learn new skills, build my stamina. I don’t want to let my condition define me and take control of my life.

Okay so.. I didn’t go that much into detail to the doctor but I did say how much I really wanted to work and in fact, I enjoy working and keeping busy. He was a bit shocked but he also said he was proud of me😂☺️

There are some things I am entitled to to, I suppose, make my life easier.. And some I will accept but there are some that I won’t. Only because I feel that it would limit me more. I’m a fighter. I’m someone who constantly tries. I get back up when I’ve been knocked down.

I have always said I will never let this condition win. And recently I have noticed that, from sticking by that statement, I am actually starting to live a “normal” life. I have a job, I’m socialising with friends, and recently I’ve got into a relationship.

Everything’s going for me at the moment… Years of fighting my condition and I feel that I’m actually winning now! 😁

CUE A CHEESY SMILE SELFIE:

Confident Talker

Hello!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted sooner. I’ve been a bit all over the place recently. One minute I’m happy and confident with the way things are going and the next minute I’m sad and frustrated. I really don’t know how to describe it. It’s mad.

I’ve said all along, as my life has changed in recent years – to a more ‘normal’ way of living, I’ve had to try and adapt to all these changes and it’s been hard.

I’ve had a few set backs. Regarding work, dating, friends etc. All small things but to me… They’ve been quite a shock to the system I tell ya!

It’s nothing others have done by the way… Its just small things that most people will just shrug off and carry on. But I’m not used to having these sort of set backs… So i’m finding that I need longer to process what’s happened and then shrug it off.

I’m also struggling with the nice things that are happening. Which sounds odd I know.

For example, I recently went on a few dates with someone (yes.. I’m getting out there now!) and I spoke a bit but I couldn’t really say much as I just didn’t know what to say. I panicked and felt like the majority of the time I was with him my thoughts froze. I couldn’t form words. It was embarrassing. He was understanding about it though and tried so hard to ask me questions and encourage me to speak. But despite how much I tried, my mind kept going blank. He messaged me after the third date saying how he didn’t think we had much in common so there’s not really any point in meeting up again. The way I’ve worded that sounds like he was rude about it all – but he certainly wasn’t and was very nice about it. I understood and we’ve parted ways. Now maybe he was right. Maybe we didn’t have much in common. But there’s a part of me annoyed with myself because I feel that if I tried harder to talk and ask questions, and just be more confident in making conversation, then we may have found loads in common. He was really nice and made me laugh–which is a good sign in my eyes, and I really felt that we were similar in personalities.. Its just my anxiety and confidence affected me showing that.

My confidence when it comes to talking is similar in other situations with friends and family too. I just don’t know what to say or how to speak to them half the time. It’s ridiculous.

I really hope something eventually clicks and I start feeling comfortable and happy talking again soon. And I let my bubbly, silly personality shine through.

It’s creeping up on me…

I’ve felt like I’ve been in a good place recently. I’ve enjoyed myself. I’ve been so relaxed. But there’s been a few occasions the last couple of weeks where I’ve just stopped in my tracks and just felt so sad..

I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I don’t know what triggers it… But it’s definetly there.

This has happened before. I get a few ‘outbursts’ of lowness. It’s like a switch that I can’t control. On and off. On and off. It happens gradually.. The out spurts are originally spaced out but eventually become more closer together and more often… And I feel like thats happening now.

I’m trying to actually fight this whilst it’s in its early stages. I’m dismaying the negative thoughts. I’m telling myself it will all be okay. I’m pushing away the bad thoughts and reminding myself of the nicer, positive thoughts. I’m taking control. It’s hard but I don’t want depression to win. I want to be in control. I want to stay feeling positive and happy.

As I’ve said before – I do think it’s harder battling a mental illness compared to a physical illness.

Ideas

This is a quick post to ask for suggestions about what you, as a reader, would be interested in reading about on this blog.

Unless something significant happens in my life, I don’t really have much to say currently. I could carry on with my story but the next part is the big chunky bit about the year 2013 when a lot happened with regards to having many many operations and my life changing. But ideally I’d like to start that in January – as that would mark 6 years.

Is there anything you’d like to know about me, anything you think you would be interested in finding out about me and my story? Maybe there’s some advice you think I could give?

Let me know by commenting on this or, as I will be sharing on social media, on any of my social media platforms.

Thank you,

Katie x